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Bar and Bat Mitzvah

Bar mitzvah at the Western Wall in Jerusalem
Reading from the Torah (Sephardi custom)
Bar mitzvah boy wearing tallit and tefillin

Bar Mitzvah (Hebrew: בַּר מִצְוָה) and Bat Mitzvah (Hebrew: בַּת מִצְוָה) (plural: B'nai mitzvah for boys, B'not Mitzvah for girls) are Jewish coming of age rituals. Bar (בַּר) is a Jewish Babylonian Aramaic word literally meaning 'son' (בֵּן), while bat (בַּת) means 'daughter' in Hebrew, and mitzvah (מִצְוָה) means 'commandment' or 'law'. Thus bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah literally translate to "son of commandment" and "daughter of commandment". However, in rabbinical usage, the word bar means 'under the category of' or 'subject to'. Bar mitzvah therefore translates to 'an [agent] who is subject to the law'. Although the term is commonly used to refer to the ritual itself, in fact the phrase originally refers to the person.

According to Jewish law, when Jewish boys become 13 years old, they become accountable for their actions and become a bar mitzvah. A girl becomes a bat mitzvah at the age of 12 according to Orthodox and Conservative Jews, and at the age of 13 according to Reform Jews. Prior to reaching bar mitzvah, the child's parents hold the responsibility for the child's actions. After this age, the boys and girls bear their own responsibility for Jewish ritual law, tradition, and ethics, and are able to participate in all areas of Jewish community life. Traditionally, the father of the bar mitzvah gives thanks to God that he is no longer punished for the child's sins (Genesis Rabba, Toldot 23:11). In addition to being considered accountable for their actions from a religious perspective, b'nai mitzvah may be counted towards a minyan (prayer quorum) and may lead prayer and other religious services in the family and the community.

Bar mitzvah is mentioned in the Mishnah (Ethics of the fathers, 5:21), and in the Talmud. In some classic sources, the age of thirteen appears for instance as the age from which males must fast on the Day of Atonement, while females fast from the age of twelve. In the late Middle Ages this was systematized in Europe into a general rule as to when a young person was obligated to observe the mitzvot. The age of b'nai mitzvah roughly coincides with physical puberty.[1] The bar or bat mitzvah ceremony is usually held on the first Shabbat after a boy's thirteenth and a girl's twelfth birthday.


  • Significance 1
  • Aliyah to the Torah 2
  • Tefillin 3
  • Bar and bat mitzvah parties 4
  • Bat Mitzvah customs 5
  • Alternative ceremonies 6
  • Gifts 7
  • History 8
  • In adults 9
  • Bar and Bat Barakah 10
  • See also 11
  • References 12
  • Further reading 13
  • External links 14


Reaching the age of bar or bat Mitzvah signifies becoming a full-fledged member of the Jewish community with the responsibilities that come with it. These include moral responsibility for own actions, eligibility to be called to read from the Torah and lead or participate in a minyan, may possess personal property, may be legally married according to Jewish law, must follow the 613 laws of the Torah and keep the halakha, may testify as a witness in a Beth Din (Rabbinical court) case.

Many congregations require pre-bar mitzvah children to attend a minimum number of Shabbat prayer services at the synagogue, study at a Hebrew school, take on a charity or community service project, and maintain membership in good standing with the synagogue. In addition to study and preparation offered through the synagogue and Hebrew schools, bar mitzvah tutors may be hired to prepare the child through the study of Hebrew, Torah cantillation and basic Jewish concepts.

Aliyah to the Torah

The widespread practice is that on a Sabbath early in his thirteenth year, a boy is called up to read from the weekly portion of the Law (five books of Moses),[2] either as one of the first seven men or as the last, in which case he will read the closing verses and the Haftarah (selections from the books of the Prophets); and if he is unable to read, to recite at least the benediction before and after the reading.[3] He may also give a d'var Torah (a discussion of some Torah issue, such as a discussion of that week's Torah portion) and/or lead part or all of the prayer services.

In Orthodox circles, the occasion is sometimes celebrated during a weekday service that includes reading from the Torah, such as a Monday or Thursday morning service, in which case the bar mitzvah will also lay tefillin for the first time.

Some communities or families may delay the celebration for reasons such as availability of a Shabbat during which no other celebration has been scheduled, or due to the desire to permit family to travel to the event. However, this does not delay the onset of rights and responsibilities of being a Jewish adult which comes about strictly by virtue of age.


The custom of laying tefillin begins when a boy reaches bar mitzvah age. In some Orthodox circles, however, the custom is for the bar mitzvah boy to begin putting on Tefillin one to three months before his bar mitzvah. This way, by the time he is obligated in the commandment, he will already know how to fulfill it properly.[4]

Bar and bat mitzvah parties

B'nai mitzvah festivities typically include a mitzvah and earn reward in the next world for his efforts, that he throws a party and has a festive meal.

Bar and bat mitzvah parties in America are often lavish affairs held at hotels and country clubs with hundreds of guests.[5][6][7] The trend has been mocked, most notably in the movie Keeping Up With The Steins. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach says that over-the-top bar mitzvah parties were already common when he was growing up in Miami in the 1970s.[8]

Bat Mitzvah customs

Egyptian Alexandria Jewish girls during bat mitzvah
Masorti bat mitzvah in Israel

Today many non-Orthodox Jews celebrate a girl's bat mitzvah in the same way as a boy's bar mitzvah. All Reform and Reconstructionist, and most Conservative synagogues have egalitarian participation, in which women read from the Torah and lead services. In Orthodox communities, a Bat Mitzvah is celebrated when a girl reaches the age of 12.

The majority of Orthodox and some Conservative Jews reject the idea that a woman can publicly read from the Torah or lead prayer services whenever there is a minyan (quorum of 10 males) available to do so. However, the public celebration of a girl becoming bat mitzvah in other ways has made strong inroads into Modern Orthodox Judaism and also into some elements of Haredi Judaism. In these congregations, women do not read from the Torah or lead prayer services, but they occasionally lecture on a Jewish topic to mark their coming of age, learn a book of Tanakh, recite verses from the Book of Esther or the Book of Psalms, or say prayers from the siddur. In some Modern Orthodox circles, bat mitzvah girls will read from the Torah and lead prayer services in a women's tefillah. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, a prominent Orthodox posek, has ruled that bat mitzvah celebrations are allowable and should not be construed as imitating non-Jewish customs; however, they do not have the status of seudat mitzvah.[9] Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef holds that it is a seudat mitzvah.[10]

The event is celebrated by joyous festivity, the bat mitzvah girl delivering on this occasion a learned discourse or oration at the table before the invited guests, who offer her presents, while the rabbi or teacher gives her her blessing, accompanying it at times with an address.[11]

There were occasional attempts to recognize a girl's coming of age in eastern Europe in the 19th and 20th centuries, the former in Warsaw (1843) and the latter in Lemberg (1902). The occasion was marked by a party without any ritual in the synagogue.[12]

According to the archivist at the Great Synagogue in Rome, the custom of a young woman being called up in synagogue before the entire community dates back to the early years of the Roman Jewish community approximately 2,300 years ago. The community recognized her as "being of age" and acknowledged her in a public fashion. This would support more modern documents that record an Orthodox Jewish Italian rite for becoming bat mitzvah (which involved an "entrance into the minyan" ceremony, in which boys of thirteen and girls of twelve recited a blessing) since the mid-19th century.[13] There were also bat mitzvahs held in the 19th century in Iraq.[14] All this may have influenced the American rabbi Mordecai M. Kaplan, who held the first public celebration of a bat mitzvah in the United States, for his daughter Judith, on March 18, 1922, at the Society for the Advancement of Judaism, his synagogue in New York City.[15][16] Judith Kaplan recited the preliminary blessing, read a portion of that week's Torah portion in Hebrew and English, and then intoned the closing blessing.[15] Kaplan, who at that time claimed to be an Orthodox rabbi, joined Conservative Judaism and then became the founder of Reconstructionist Judaism, influenced Jews from all branches of non-Orthodox Judaism, through his position at the Jewish Theological Seminary of America. At the time, most Orthodox rabbis strongly rejected the idea of a bat mitzvah ceremony.

As the ceremony became accepted for females as well as males, many women chose to celebrate the ceremony even though they were much older, as a way of formalizing and celebrating their place in the adult Jewish community.[17]

Alternative ceremonies

Bar mitzvah for 1000 immigrant boys from Russia at the Western Wall, 1995

Instead of reading from the Torah, some kibbutz movement in Israel also encouraged the celebration of the bar mitzvah. All those coming of age in the community for that year would take on a project and research in a topic of Jewish or Zionist interest. Today many kibbutz children are opting for a more traditional bar mitzvah celebration.

Among some Jews, a man who has reached the age of 83 will customarily celebrate a second bar mitzvah, under the logic that in the Torah it says that a "normal" lifespan is 70 years, so that an 83-year-old can be considered 13 in a second lifetime. This practice has become increasingly uncommon.[21]

A Bark Mitzvah is a pseudo-traditional observance and celebration of a dog's coming of age,[22][23] as in the Jewish traditional bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah. The term has been in use since at least as early as 1997,[24] and Bark Mitzvahs are sometimes held as an adjunct to the festival of Purim.[25]


Bar or bat mitzvah celebrations have become an occasion to give the celebrant a commemorative gift. Traditionally, common gifts include books with religious or educational value, religious items, writing implements, savings bonds (to be used for the child's college education), gift certificates, or money.[26] Gifts of cash have become commonplace in recent times. As with charity and all other gifts, it has become common to give in multiples of 18, since the gematria, or numerical equivalent of the Hebrew word for "life", ("chai"), is the number 18. Monetary gifts in multiples of 18 are considered to be particularly auspicious and have become very common for bar and bat mitzvahs. Many bar and bat mitzvahs also receive their first tallit from their parents to be used for the occasion and tefillin where this is appropriate. Jewelry is a common gift for girls at a bat mitzvah celebration. Another gift for the bat mitzvah girl are Shabbat candlesticks because it is the duty and honour of the woman to light the candles.


Bar Mitzvah in a Synagogue by Oscar Rex

The modern method of celebrating becoming a bar mitzvah did not exist in the time of the Hebrew Bible, Mishnah or Talmud. Passages in the books of Exodus and Numbers note the age of majority for army service as twenty.[27] The term "bar mitzvah" appears first in the Talmud, the codification of the Jewish oral Torah compiled in the early first millennium of the common era, to connote "an [agent] who is subject to the law,"[28] and the age of thirteen is also mentioned in the Mishnah as the time one is obligated to observe the Torah's commandments: "At five years old a person should study the Scriptures, at ten years for the Mishnah, at 13 for the commandments . . ."[29][30] The Talmud gives 13 as the age at which a boy's vows are legally binding, and states that this is a result of his being a "man," as required in Numbers 6:2.[31] The term "bar mitzvah", in the sense it is now used, cannot be clearly traced earlier than the 14th century, the older rabbinical term being "gadol" (adult) or "bar 'onshin" (legally responsible for own misdoings).[3] Many sources indicate that the ceremonial observation of a bar mitzvah developed in the Middle Ages,[30][32] however, there are extensive earlier references to thirteen as the age of majority with respect to following the commandments of the Torah, as well as Talmudic references to observing this rite of passage with a religious ceremony, including:

  • Samuel ha'Katan, at the close of the first century, in the Baraita attached to Abot v. 21 (see Machzor Vitry) the completion of the thirteenth year as the age for the commandments ("mitzvot"); and the commentary to the passage refers to Levi, the son of Jacob, who, at thirteen, is called "ish" (man; Gen. xxxiv. 25).
  • Simon Tzemach Duran, in his "Magen Abot" to the Baraita, quotes a Midrash interpreting the Hebrew word ("this") in Isa. xliii. 21—"This people have I formed for myself, they shall pronounce [ A. V. "set forth"] my praise"—as referring by its numerical value to those that have reached the age of 13. This seems to imply that, at the time of the composition of the Midrash the bar mitzvah publicly pronounced a benediction on the occasion of his entrance upon maturity.
  • The Midrash Hashkem (see Grünhut's "Sefer ha'Likkutim", i. 3a): "The heathen when he begets a son consecrates him to idolatrous practises; the Israelite has his son circumcised and the rite of 'pidyon haben' performed; and as soon as he becomes of age he brings him into the synagogue and school ('beit ha'knesset' and 'beit ha'midrash') in order that he may praise the name of God, reciting the 'Brachu' (Benediction) preceding the reading from the Law."
  • Masseket Soferim xviii. 5 makes matters even more explicit: "In Jerusalem they are accustomed to initiate their children to fast on the Day of Atonement, a year or two before their maturity; and then, when the age has arrived, to bring the Bar Mitzvah before the priest or elder for blessing, encouragement, and prayer, that he may be granted a portion in the Law and in the doing of good works. Whosoever is of superiority in the town is expected to pray for him as he bows down to him to receive his blessing."
  • The Midrash (Gen. R. lxiii.), which, in commenting upon the passage (Gen. xxv. 27), "and the boys grew," says: "Up to thirteen years Esau and Jacob went together to the primary school and back home; after the thirteen years were over, the one went to the beit ha'midrash for the study of the Law, the other to the house of idols. With reference to this, Rabbi Eleazar remarks, 'Until the thirteenth year it is the father's duty to train his boy; after this he must say: "Blessed be He who has taken from me the responsibility [the punishment] for this boy!"" "Why is the evil desire (yetzer hara) personified as the great king? (Eccl. ix. 14). Because it is thirteen years older than the good desire (yetzer hatob)." That is to say, the latter comes only with the initiation into duty (Ab. R. N., A. xvi., B. xxx.; Midr. Teh. ix. 2; Eccl. R. ix. 15).
  • According to Pirke R. El. xxvi., Abraham rejected the idolatry of his father and became a worshiper of God when he was thirteen years old.[3]
  • "It is a mitzvah for a person to make a meal on the day his son becomes Bar Mitzvah as on the day he enters the wedding canopy." (Orach Chayim 225:2, Magen Avraham 4)

In adults

While the traditional age to hold a bar or bat mitzvah is 13 (12 for girls), some adults choose to have bar or bat mitzvahs at an older age, some of whom had them as children and some who did not have them as children. Since the 1970s, the adult bar and bat mitzvah have been growing in popularity.

Bar and Bat Barakah

Bar/Bat Barakah means, in Aramaic, "Son/Daughter of the Blessing". In honour and recognition of Jewish traditions, including Zeved habat and Bar and Bat Mitzvah, some Christians have begun to conduct a Bar and Bat Barakah ceremony to pronounce blessings upon their children.[33]

See also


  1. ^ Niddah, 45b.
  2. ^ Calling someone up to say the Torah blessings during a service is called an Aliyah, from the Hebrew: עֲלִיָּה, from the verb la'alot, לעלות, meaning, "to rise, to ascend; to go up"
  3. ^ a b c  
  4. ^ "Some Laws of Tefillin - The Basic Laws and the order of Putting on the Tefillin. - Tefillin Explained". Retrieved 2012-08-13. 
  5. ^ Cohen, Stefanie (April 18, 2010). "$1 Million Parties - Have NYC Bar Mitzvahs Gone Too Far?". New York Post (News Corp.). Archived from the original on 20 April 2010. Retrieved 2010-04-18. 
  6. ^ Posted by Al (2011-01-18). "Saturday Night Live Mocks Over-The-Top Bar Mitzvah". Jewish Humor Central. Retrieved 2012-08-13. 
  7. ^ "Jewish Chicago's Hometown Newspaper". Chicago Jewish News. Retrieved 2012-08-13. 
  8. ^ "Extravagant Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs Humiliate the Jewish Community". Huffington Post. October 23, 2010. 
  9. ^ Iggros Moshe OC 1:104 and OC 2:97
  10. ^ Yabia Omer 2:29
  11. ^; What Is a Bat Mitzvah?
  12. ^ Marcus, Ivan G. (2004). The Jewish Life Cycle: Rites of Passage from Biblical to Modern Times. Seattle and London: University of Washington Press. ISBN 0-295-98440-6, p. 105.
  13. ^ Marcus, p. 106.
  14. ^ Barkat, Amiram (2003-05-27). "Coming of age a little later than usual - Haaretz Daily Newspaper | Israel News". Retrieved 2013-04-13. 
  15. ^ a b "The First American Bat Mitvah". 1922-03-18. Retrieved 2013-04-13. 
  16. ^ Waskow, Arthur Ocean and Phyllis Ocean Berman. Excerpt from A Time for Every Purpose Under Heaven Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC at "History of Bat Mizvah". Archived from the original on 13 October 2007. Retrieved 2007-10-10. 
  17. ^ Maag, Christopher (March 22, 2009). "Having a Bat Mitzvah in Their 90s Because It's a Hoot". The New York Times. Retrieved March 31, 2010. 
  18. ^ Arking, Linda (2011). "Sh'ma, A Journal of Jewish Responsibility | Molly's Unforgettable Bat Mitzvah". Retrieved August 15, 2011. 
  19. ^ [1]
  20. ^ [2]
  21. ^ j. - Encore for violinist: 2nd bar mitzvah at 83
  22. ^ Lily Koppel (20 December 2004). "Today He Is a Dog; Actually He Always Was".  
  23. ^ Shari Cohen and Marcelo Gindlin. Alfie's Bark Mitzvah. Chandler: Five Star Publications, 2007. Book with audio CD. ISBN 1-58985-055-6, ISBN 978-1589850552. ASIN 1589850556.
  24. ^ Letter to the editor (19 January 1997). "'"A Rabbi's View Of a 'Bark Mitzvah.  
  25. ^ Maryann Mott (6 October 2006). "Pets Gaining Recognition in Places of Worship".  
  26. ^ "Judaism 101: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation". 2011. Retrieved August 15, 2011. 
  27. ^ Bazelon, Emily. Slate, May 19, 2005. "Saving the Bar Mitzvah". Archived from the original on 13 October 2007. Retrieved 2007-10-05. 
  28. ^ Tractate Baba Mezia 96a.
  29. ^ Pirkei Avot 5:25, see [3]
  30. ^ a b Olitsky, Kerry M. An Encyclopedia of American Synagogue Ritual, Greenwood Press, 2000. 160 pages. ISBN 0-313-30814-4 p. 7.[4]
  31. ^ Niddah 46A
  32. ^ "Jewish Encyclopedia entry on the history of the Bar Mizvah". Retrieved 2013-04-13. 
  33. ^ "Bar Barakah Ceremony". 

Further reading

  • Goldberg, Harvey E. "Rites of Passage: Jewish Rites." Encyclopedia of Religion. Ed. Lindsay Jones. 2nd ed. Vol. 11. Detroit: Macmillan Reference USA, 2005. pp. 7818–7824. Gale Virtual Reference Library.
  • Hilton, Michael. Bar Mitzvah: A History. University of Nebraska Press, 2014.
  • Kaplan, Zvi, and Norma Baumel Joseph. "Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah." Encyclopaedia Judaica. Ed. Michael Berenbaum and Fred Skolnik. 2nd ed. Vol. 3. Detroit: Macmillan Reference USA, 2007. pp. 164–167. Gale Virtual Reference Library.
  • Oppenheimer, Mark. Thirteen and a Day: The Bar and Bat Mitzvah across America. New York: Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, 2005.

External links

  • "Bar Mitzvah: everything you need to do it right"
  • Schauss, Hayyim. History of Bar Mitzvah
  • "Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation"
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